


I Hate You, I Love You

by Dreaminglifes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28708431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreaminglifes/pseuds/Dreaminglifes
Summary: Draco Malfoy spends two years in Azkaban after the War and finally is released on the eve of his 20th birthday. He is forced to participate in a muggle relation program as part of his release. Hermione Granger, Golden Girl, is the assistant to Reginald Cattermole, who is the head of Wizard and Muggle Relations at the Ministry. He is tasked with immersing himself in muggle life to gain a better understanding of those he had hated and Hermione is tasked with being his mentor of sorts through the program. What starts off as mutual disgust and hatred leads to a deep appreciation and love for one another. Que slow burn, smut, and all things enemies to lovers.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Kudos: 3





	I Hate You, I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Mature content and themes: explicit language, sexual content and ptsd 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters all belong to JKR!

She woke up in a cold sweat, limbs shaking, heart pounding, her mind raced with the fear that she was there again, that the pain was real and alive and not a memory of the past. Scratching at her arm that still felt a phantom of pain she took deep breaths, in her mind chanting “You are fine, you are fine, you are fine”. A mantra that was a tether to her sanity, a way to calm down from an episode of fear that seemed to always find her at night. She thought time would begin to heal her wounds but her struggle with insomnia and panic attacks had yet to cease two years after the war had ended. Checking the time she saw it was 4 am and knowing that trying to sleep again was a fruitless effort she got up from bed still trembling a little and made her way to the kitchen. It had been a year since her and Ron had been together but times like this she missed him painfully. During her bouts of nightmares she would wake with a start, rousing Ron and falling into his arms wrapped tightly around her, comforting her through this rare display of weakness. In the morning it would be as if nothing had happened at all, but she knew Ron worried about her and her tough facade crumbling was painful for him to witness every night it occurred. She busied her hands making tea the muggle way, setting the kettle to boil, grabbing a tea bag, milk and sugar, going through these comforting motions gave her a sense of peace, a grip on sanity that made her feel at home and safe. Her mind wandered to work as she curled up on her couch with the steaming cup of tea and wondered if this specific nightmare involving Bellatrix torturing her on the cold hard ground of Malfoy Manor was related to the fact she would be facing Draco Malfoy for the first time in two years tomorrow. After graduating Hogwarts she had interned for Reginald Cattermole, the director of Muggle and Wizard relations at the ministry, lamenting to not using her powers as Golden Girl to getting any professional favors and instead wanting to work her way to the top making a meaningful impact. Six months into her internship she was hired on full time and now two years later she was a trusted member of Reginald’s department and worked closely with him on most major projects. She loved work, thrived in being able to work in an area she was passionate about and making substantial changes in a once stagnant area of wizarding society. After graduation, Harry had gone on to become an Auror and was quickly moving up the ranks while Ron decided to pursue his love for Quidditch and currently played for the British league. Harry and Ginny were of course a picture perfect romance, Ginny playing for the Harpies but them both sharing a cozy apartment in Hogsmeade. After an amicable breakup, Ron and Hermione both deciding they needed some time to be single and figure themselves out after the trauma of the war, the foursome had naturally fallen back into a comfortable and loving friendship. She adored the three of them truly and all her other Hogwarts friends but truthfully she had felt lost and lonely for longer than she could remember. It seemed that the pain in her chest never seemed to lessen and she felt disgusted that she couldn’t overcome this fear that Harry, Ron and Ginny had all conquered. She felt weak and it angered her, why was everyone else moving on but she still felt shackled to her trauma. 

She thought back to her conversation with Cattermole last month when he first informed her about his rehabilitation program for former Death Eaters which would provide them a chance at retribution, a chance to enter back into Wizarding society without being feared and resented. This program required the recently freed prisoners to work at a small firm in muggle London that Cattermole had ties with and immerse themselves in the muggle world in an attempt to further cement their reform. It was to be a year long program with monthly evaluations to guarantee they were truly embracing this program. Hermione had been hesitant at first when Cattermole explained his proposition to her, thinking that her former Slytherin classmates would detest the very idea and scared of how they would treat the muggles they were forced to coexist with. Cattermole had diffused her rebuttal by assuring her he had spoken with the selected Slytherins and they were all more than ready to participate given that this was an opportunity to try and redeem themselves in society’s eyes. He had assigned “mentors” to every participant and let her know that she was to be in charge of Draco sodding Malfoy. She had gripped the arms of the seat so hard she thought she was sure to break them off, she had been furious that she would have to spend a year practically babysitting the abomination of a creature that Draco Malfoy was. After all her progress through her time at the ministry doing important and meaningful work now she was being subjected to one on one time with her former schoolyard nemesis, a man that she despised and knew equally hated her. The rest of the time Cattermole had raved about his intentions for the program Hermione had just run through each hurtful and crass thing Malfoy had ever said to her, the millions of times he sneered and called her a Mudblood, his disgust as clear as day. But she also felt the fear, the terrifying idea of facing one of the people who had been there that wretched night, who had stood by and let her be assaulted on his floor. She had been consumed with the day she would have to finally face him the rest of the month, it was all she could think about and it was bloody infuriating. She had told Harry and Ron she was working on a program rehabilitating former Death Eaters but hadn’t said she would be working with Malfoy specifically. She had told Ginny though, needing to confide in someone and ranted and raved about how much she hated Malfoy masking the underlying fear with outrage at having to work with that bloody prat.Ginny had of course listened intently and offered the right “Fucking Malfoy” or “What a prick that man is''. It had done little to soothe her anxieties though and Hermione had been getting less sleep than normal if that was even possible. Hermione checked the time, she had long since finished her tea and had been caught up in her thoughts for over an hour. She resigned to getting ready for work, deciding getting in early and polishing her documents would settle her mind before the dreaded meeting today.

Hermione arrived at her cubicle at 7 on the dot, clothed in a simple grey skirt, a loose white blouse that tied at her neck and modest three inch heels. Her naturally unruly mane was pulled back into a bun as she often wore to work but a few stray hairs always managed to escape and frame her face. She never bothered with a full face of makeup, just a dab of mascara and a swatch of nude lipstick. “Good morning Hermione” Cattermole popped his head into her cubicle, smiling like he had just ate a thousand chocolate frogs. “Good morning Reginald, how are you today” she attempted to plaster a smile on her face despite the tension she felt. “Quite well, very excited about the program starting today, finally putting months of hard work into place, I look forward to seeing you in the meeting room at 10” he stated and with a final smile at her walked to his office. Taking a deep breath Hermione got up to get some tea, figuring that would help settle her nerves. Nursing her cup she tried to focus on her other work but found herself involuntarily glancing at the clock every minute, dreading every minute that came closer to 10. 

A shaking deep breath outside the conference room door, a quick mental chant of “you are fine” and Hermione pushed open the door. Her eyes found him in the room immediately, commanding a presence as he had so easily in the halls of Hogwarts. She had been bracing herself for the shocking white blonde hair and those ice grey eyes but was shocked at the rest of the skeleton of the Draco Malfoy she had known all of childhood. He was gaunt and so pale it seemed like he was a whisper of a human, his eyes were hooded and the dark purple bags stood bright in contrast to his pale skin. His mouth was set in a dark scowl and yet despite all this his head was held high, eyes staring straight into hers. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t even think. His eyes were so cold, so haunted it terrified her and the thought of looking away made her fear she would never be the same again. “Hermione, so glad you could join us!” Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic exclaimed at the sight of the young witch. Hermione was snapped out of her reverie and forced a smile onto her face. “Good morning, Minister, so glad I could be a part of this important program” the words came out of her mouth as her feet moved to sit in her seat, directly across from Malfoy. She avoided looking at him at first, staring at Cattermole instead as he droned on but eventually her curiosity got the best of her and she dared to glance at him again. His week back at the Manor since his release had let him get a clean shave in, his hair was neatly trimmed instead of slicked back like childhood and he wore a light grey suit under his dark robes she knew probably cost more than her yearly paycheck. She avoided looking at his eyes like the plague though, scared of what she may find this time. “Now Mr.Malofy if you don’t have any questions for myself or the Minister I am going to let Ms.Granger and you discuss the details for tomorrow” Cattermole was all smiles and enthusiasm and he looked to Draco for any feedback. “I have no further questions, thank you Mr.Cattermole and Minister for this opportunity” Draco spoke with a raspy voice sounding as if he hadn’t uttered a word for the past two years and these were his first words. ‘Of Course Mr.Malfoy, we are looking forward to you rejoining the wizarding community” the Minister stated and with a final smile from Cattermole thrown at both Draco and her they both left the room. The room was silent, both of them it seemed holding their breath afraid any sudden movements would spook the other. She racked her mind trying to find the right words, the right apology, the right anger, the right shame, the right hurt. 

“Hello Malfoy” she said the words so quietly she feared she had only said them in her head. Eyes still down she didn’t see his face, she held her breath and counted five breaths before he rasped back. “Hello Granger”


End file.
